Non-Traditional Non-Profit Non-Boring Business School

August 30, 2024
by Chancellor Daniel Whittington

Recently I was talking to someone I hadn’t seen in twenty years. They remained actively involved in a worldview that I had left behind somewhere in my mid-twenties. This person’s world hadn’t changed much since then. Mine had fundamentally altered in both color and shape.

Surprisingly quickly, a few things were stated as assumed facts that caused a visceral reaction in my bones. I realized I was about to have a fundamental and possibly aggressive disagreement with someone I hadn’t seen in two decades. 

They didn’t intend malice or have any desire to fight or argue. They just assumed that I was still the person they remembered from twenty years ago. They were simply making small talk with what they thought was common ground. 

Two things occurred to me. 

Our current era is an US VERSUS THEM era. That’s the water we’re swimming in. All the instincts of our culture are shouting. 

“Pick sides!
Find your enemies!
Burn things to the ground!” 

I don’t want to be a part of that world.

I want to be someone who listens, sees, and tries to understand. I want to find the human behind the opinions. It’s really hard. And I’m not always good at it. 

I had a chance to be kind, or a chance to turn our conversation into a micro version of our current culture war. 

And there was almost nothing to gain. I didn’t plan on staying in this person’s life to see it through to the end. I had no relationship skin in the game. That’s called an opinion hit-and-run. The odds of it having any value is so close to zero that the number is irrelevant. 

The second thought I had came later, and it landed like bricks.

Everything this person was saying was exactly what I used to say. Almost word for word. Effectively, I was about to have an argument with myself from 20 years ago. 

I remember that time in my life. I remember how certain I was of so many things. I remember the hubris of “knowing” that threaded through all my words and beliefs. 

I’m not that person anymore. I doubt more than I know. I’m constantly learning ways that I’m wrong. I’m constantly caught off guard by my ignorance and assumptions. It makes me less certain about anything other than relationships and people. 

Keep in mind, that doesn’t stop me from having opinions. I definitely have opinions. I’m a professional opinion-haver. But I also eat my words so frequently that it might as well be my part-time job. Hopefully this reminder is as helpful to you as it is to me.  

Hold your opinions lightly.  Especially when your theoretical opinions run up against very real human beings. 

Daniel Whittington – Chancellor