Three Pounds of Gooification

I didn’t realize how little information I actually know until the Wi-Fi went out.

I didn’t realize I didn’t know my wife’s phone number until my phone died and I needed to call her.

I didn’t realize how many places I don’t know how to get to until I didn’t have GPS.

When did this happen? Is it just me?

My brain became a sieve. There must be a trail of bits and pieces of information littering the ground behind me. Dates, names, passwords, snippets of conversation just dribbling out my ears.

It’s like my brain decided it’s pointless to hold onto information when I can reach in my pocket and look up anything I could ever need to know on demand. The problem is, not everything is look-up-able. 

But good luck telling my brain that. It seems to have cleaned house and the baby went out with the bath water. 

I’ve suspected that I was sliding for a while. But as is often the case with gradual decline, it’s easy to ignore the post rot until one day the front porch collapses.

I’ve decided to mount an offense on this gooification of my three pounds of gray matter. 

I’m going to crunch word puzzles like they’re Grape Nuts. I’m going to bench press books like a body builder. I’m going to swim through sudoku like a really good swim person.

Oh, dear God, this is going to be an uphill battle.

Here goes, the aptly called, nothing.

– Zac Smith, VC