Get Back To Love

How do you get back to love?

You imagine your dream job. You meet an amazing new person. You imagine an opportunity that could change your life. You look at them from the outside and see how amazing they are in every way. 

Then one day it happens. You get the girl, you get the job, you move forward on the opportunity. At some point down this path you discover what we all know but often forget. 

Nothing is perfect. People are broken. Situations are always a mixed bag of awesome and bullshit. You pulled back the curtain, and it’s just some old dude pulling levers and punching buttons.

Why does that happen with everything in life? Is it even possible to get back the feelings or emotions you had before?

I think we’re born with a built-in sense that something is missing. I also think we spend most of our life searching because we’re wired to hope. We hope that this sense of incompletion is temporary. We hope that someday we’ll find that missing piece and be made whole. 

There’s a Welsh Term called “Hiraeth” (pronounced Hee Rye th) which is a homesickness tinged with sadness. It was originally used to refer to a longing for old times of the past. Like nostalgia. Except it’s nostalgia for a home we’ve never lived in. A longing for a moment we’ve never actually had.

I think we all carry a bit of that. The hopeful part of us keeps thinking, “Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the thing?” And then it isn’t, and we take out our frustration and pain on the situation or the people for not being everything we hoped they would be. Which leads to bitterness. 

But I think you can have a shot at recovering some of the original joy by remembering that all people are broken. All situations are fragmented. All new jobs will be screwed up in their own ways. All relationships have arguments and offenses and hurts. 

More importantly we remember the same is true of ourselves. We’re often the cause of other people’s broken expectations. 

We can also remember that the magic parts we fell in love with or the sparkling gems that caused us to dream really are still magic. They’re just not the ONLY pieces of the puzzle. And that’s okay.

We can help them be more so. 

And we can help people remember. 

Daniel Whittington – Chancellor